“The gift I bring is just being me.”
This thought came to me in the middle of the night. If it had been in the day time I'm sure I would have missed it, for it flitted by on the trail of a whisper. And even if I had heard it, in a more alert state, I suspect my normal programming surely would have deleted it from my mind.
Could it really be true? Could my value simply be because I am me. Not because I'm pretty or smart, or learning really hard things, or done really hard things. Is the fact that I've given birth to five children, been married 19 years, even traveled to dangerous places and taken on challenging projects really not the thing that makes me worthwhile?
Of course not, my mind says. No, intellectually we all know we’re valuable without doing anything. Ask anyone and they will tell you that we have an innate value simply because we exist. But then, as soon as the conversation is over, each of us runs back to the things we’ve created that add structure, dimension and form to the evidence that deep down they do.
No- this thought, “the gift I bring is just being me” was much more than an intellectual knowing, it was more than just an idea I had been given by my favorite teacher in school or my mother. No this thought brought with it a feeling. A feeling so deep, so core that it touched the very inner workings of my soul. In that moment pure light and truth flashed so bright- like a flash in a dark room- that all of the fear of not being good enough, all of the attempts to hide behind my physical appearance or an exterior of eloquence and accomplishments fled. I was suddenly naked in a sense…my pure being left with nothing to stand behind, and yet all I felt was love; pure and complete love.
No- this thought, “the gift I bring is just being me” was much more than an intellectual knowing, it was more than just an idea I had been given by my favorite teacher in school or my mother. No this thought brought with it a feeling. A feeling so deep, so core that it touched the very inner workings of my soul. In that moment pure light and truth flashed so bright- like a flash in a dark room- that all of the fear of not being good enough, all of the attempts to hide behind my physical appearance or an exterior of eloquence and accomplishments fled. I was suddenly naked in a sense…my pure being left with nothing to stand behind, and yet all I felt was love; pure and complete love.
The most shocking part to me (so shocking in fact that it made me laugh out loud) was that this feeling wasn’t new at all, it was very old and familiar; one I had lived with for eyons before but that I had been missing for a long long time. Tears began to slide down my face as I basked in the ultimate security of this space. As I relaxed into it, faces began to float across my mind…faces of people I love, my family, friends and neighbors, people I have worked with, people I hardly know, people I only met briefly, like the woman at the bank, the boy who helped take groceries to my car, or the man I sat next to on the plane. The faces came so rapidly, so many of them. And as they did I longed for each of them to feel this feeling too. I longed to help them to understand what was so clear to me in that moment…that we are enough already.
I could feel how when we could go forward from this place trusting in ourselves and trusting life, that a powerful creative power would emerge and we would intuitively know just what to do. All of our attempts to try new things and to give our gifts would succeed because we wouldn't be coming from a place of fear or defensiveness, our contribution would be pure and the give and take would flow.
I could feel how when we could go forward from this place trusting in ourselves and trusting life, that a powerful creative power would emerge and we would intuitively know just what to do. All of our attempts to try new things and to give our gifts would succeed because we wouldn't be coming from a place of fear or defensiveness, our contribution would be pure and the give and take would flow.
As I laid there I realized that I needed to, first and foremost, commit to consistently clearing the beliefs that would stand in the way of me feeling and being in this space all the time. And then, to do all I can to inspire and support others in courageously reaching deep within themselves to be vulnerable enough to find and discreate their limiting beliefs. To help them to feel and claim this truth too.
That is the purpose of this blog.
Join me as I wobbly relax into this way of being and we will see where we go.
To abundant life!
Andrea ; )
